Friendship

I had a friend, and then I didn't.
And so I probably never had a friend at all.

To Love Once Again

At the moment of death there is no point to even a lifetime of strife - it’s over. And so the living are free to forgive and love once again.

Genius and Death

Genius should be spared death.

Weapon of Mass Alveolar Destruction

The number one cause of stress related mucosal disease in the intensive care unit is the ventilator. But how does a ventilator attached to a lung cause bleeding in the stomach? Because the ventilator forces air under pressure into an organ that is literally 80% air by volume and in the process damages the lung’s incredibly delicate structures. This then causes inflammation. The mediators of that inflammation then leave the lung, traveling in the blood to the stomach causing dysregulation of blood perfusion to its capillary beds. This then causes a reperfusion injury that results in shutting off prostaglandin production, causing cessation of bicarbonate rich mucous production that normally lines the stomach protecting it from its acid. This results in erosions of the stomach lining and bleeding.

Oh my. All this from a ventilator?

Now imagine a lung disease of intense inflammation but near normal compliance - Covid 19.  Those lungs would be orders of magnitude more susceptible to the harm ventilators can cause than normal lungs or really any lungs we have ever encountered in the intensive care unit before.

What a unique, deadly, disease. We have never seen anything quite like it. We have been learning while doing. But as it turns out the answer to Covid 19, once a patient has reached the ICU and needs a breathing machine, may be as  simple as not using breathing machines. That’s right, instead of putting people on ventilators put them on a machine that does the work of the lung without damaging it, providing an opportunity to rest a ‘sprained’ injured lung, much as we would rest twisted ankles, until the lung has had a chance to heal. Use V/V ECMO.

Sounds simple enough. But you would think I was suggesting no longer bleeding patients to 17th century Europe. Or refusing to ask patients to inhale mercury vapors in order to treat the pox (syphylis) in the 15th century. Sacrilege.

It’s new. It’s different. It competes for resources with other fields of medicine that traditionally don't play well with others. But mostly the idea diminishes the role of the cornerstone of the intensive care unit since its inception - the ventilator.

Tough. It’s the right thing to do. It will save lives.

God

God is a black lesbian living in a third floor walkup in south Chicago.
I met her.
She’s pissed.   

Medicine’s Answers

The pores on a surgical mask are 160 times larger than the virus. If the virus was your size, the pores would be 3 football fields across. 100 million virus particles can fit on a pin head. The mask is for fine droplets such as from a sneeze or cough. They are just empty space to the virus.

A Sea Eternal

In the dim light of sea’s dusk and dawn, within the magic before a storm, in the lonely dark nights at helm, I feel them.
Hidden in the mists, the crested waves, the darkening clouds.
Majestic ships of yore, cutting through the surge.
Their spirits, forever there.

Beginnings and Endings

Time, as we experience it, is illusion.
It slows or quickens relative to gravity and speed.
Larger gravity fields slow time, as does greater velocity.

It becomes clear then, that I do not understand time.
What I experience it to be - illusion.

Beginnings and endings then, illusion as well.

Deaf and Blind At The Opera

Anecdotal evidence is an oxymoron. It is not evidence. Period. Nope, not even a little.

The scientific method is one of humankind’s most beautiful and significant achievements. It is not a rigid set of rules designed by uptight scientists trying to make things difficult. The scientific method is the only way to discover truth outside human experience and bias. That truth reflects the beauty of this universe - a beauty more powerful, intricate, and stunning than anything mankind has ever invented, will ever invent, or can even imagine.

Anecdotal evidence did not play a part in developing almost everything you use for comfort, communication, travel, and health. The scientific method did.

The greatest failing of modern society is in not teaching its children how to think, and how to go about discovering truth. In doing so we have robbed so many of a beauty revealed through that deeper understanding that is beyond any religious invention, personal bias, social construct, or imagination.

We come mostly deaf and blind to the multidimensional, technicolor opera that is our universe and we miss the show. This is beyond sad.

For knowing - truly knowing - our only hope.